I’m happy my boyfriend is giving me another chance.. I don’t think I will be writing on here anymore though. Sometimes you need a rude awakening to show you what is important in life and that is Michael. Writing has been a huge part of my life but I need to let it go and learn to say my feelings out loud. Before I stop.. If you love someone never let them go and never stop fighting for it. Do what it takes to make them happy. I don’t think I can live without Michael.. I can’t live without his touch and I can’t live without his love and seeing his face. He does so much for me to be happy and I’d be stupid to let that go.. Almost losing him for good tonight hurt me so bad. It hurt me to be hurting the guy that I am in love with. I need him in my life. I’m older now and I can see that this is real. I don’t want to play games in my relationships, I want to mature and even though I don’t know what love is fully I want to try. My boyfriend has been a huge factor in my life.. Being there for me when I’m sad about family or school or overall stressed, coming here to get me no matter the distance, here when I’m sick.. And I want him to know that he is appreciated.. When you love someone do whatever it takes.. And I thank God for a chance with him again.. And it’s only by him that I have this chance so.. I just want to do it right.. I just want to make Michael feel like he didn’t make a stupid decision by staying with me.. Thinking about my life without him my whole mind goes blank, what is that anymore? I don’t know.. But I don’t want to find out..
So I’m done writing… Goodbye
2 days ago // 0 notes
I need him :( and I won’t go without him
2 days ago // 0 notes
Happy anniversary baby! Gosh it feels like so much longer, I guess because we have been friends for so long. I never would have imagined God would give me the chance to make it right with you again, I guess he knew we weren’t ready for each other in high school. I honestly wasn’t because I was childish, but now at this day in time we appreciate each other more and are so much more serious about love. I am blessed to have you here, I love who you are as a person. I have never met someone so beautiful in my life, your soul and your mindset is beautiful to me. If you were a book I’d like to read you over and over again learning every line by heart until I knew every waking part of you. I guess that’s what’s beautiful though, I learn more about you everyday and good or bad I still love who you are as a person. I know how bad you’ve been hurt but that’s all done now and I promise to never break your heart and I will always keep it safe. I’ll never leave you as long as you fight with me. I love you dearly baby.
4 days ago // 1 note
This weekend with my boyfriend was super amazing. When I first went to see him I felt a way because of what was going on with me and how I felt like he didn’t want to come. When we went to go see a movie together it was great because I loved just spending time with him and how he yanked my hand every time a scary part was coming up or when I was trying to cover my eyes. He’s so cute to me. Even though he doesn’t like IHOP we went there anyway because every other place was closed. I just wanted to spend time with him and talk to him about everything. I love seeing him smile and laugh with me. I felt like I got closer to him this weekend and started joking with him more and pushing him like I do when I first have a crush, it’s like falling in love again. I want to do whatever it takes to be with him and to make it easier to be with him even if that means spending my money on only seeing him. That’s what is important in my life, that’s what makes me happy. He makes me happy like no other can and every time we take more time out to talk and communicate I feel like it gets better between us, our bond gets stronger which is that much more unbreakable. I’m starting not to phase when other girls try anything anymore because I’m starting to feel more comfortable in my position. Of course I still hate it but I know that he wouldn’t hurt a good girl for someone that hurt him in the past. I guess I never really thought about it like that, or maybe I did I just didn’t think anybody could love me the way that he does. I see how much he loves me in all that he does but now he is starting to communicate that more to me and even though it is about actions, I still love hearing it.. He told me he doesn’t want to hurt me with these situations anymore and I truly believe that he won’t. I want to give him all he’s never had like making him a priority and making him the only guy I see in my eyes.. He’s all that I want so I will do whatever it takes to make him happy. I can’t wait to see him again.. I laid next to him wishing it could be every night but my heart got happy in a way when he said “I don’t want you to go” and I’ve never heard him say that.. and I guess that’s why I feel like he felt like we grew closer this weekend. I’m in love :) and it’s the most beautiful feeling I have ever had and I never thought someone like me would ever get to experience it.
5 days ago // 0 notes